Truth be told, I struggled for many months to finish this article. It is not so much the lack of time, or sheer laziness but the uncertainty of public reception of it. Although I do not think it is controversial, I fear it can be intimidating to some. The more I thought about it, the more I felt that God wanted me to finish this article. So, here it is, after 9 months of toil and worry from start to finish.
In this article, I ask the question of what leadership is in the context of Christianity. Specifically, what characteristics or behaviours of leaders in our churches reflect Christian leadership? I have often asked myself this question, and over the years have been frustrated by the ambiguity of the many answers. I found that most of the answers go back to secular standards. However, this criteria of leadership quality inherent in human organizations are, more often than not, meaningless in the context of Christian community. So, I began to tackle the matter by looking into the meaning of Christian living, and in what defines a Christian in the first place.
Learning from my father
The earliest hint came from my childhood experience of learning from my father. My father lived with the motto that it was better for others to be better off than him in every aspect of daily life. He gained joy from the happiness and contentment of others, and for most of the time, at the expense of himself. A case in point is the unforgettable incident of a Gin Rummy card game he had with his friend that I had witnessed as a child. As the game drew closer to the end, victory was clearly within my dad’s reach. However, upon seeing the weariness on his friend’s face, my father deliberately made a costly error to allow his friend to win. His friend jumped for joy celebrating the unexpected victory, and my dad responded with a congratulatory handshake and a calm smile. I felt confused and angry. It did not make sense to me why my dad had purposely lost the game he was certain to win. He later explained that his personal victory was not about winning the game, but sharing and witnessing the immeasurable joy his friend felt then. Growing up, I saw countless instances similar to this. You see, my dad felt most happy and relieved when his loss or retreat allowed others to rejoice and advance.
I could never understand why my father did all these, and could never comprehend why he was happy when others gained and won over him. To me, it was stupidity. More tellingly, I could never reason out the joy that comes from conceding and giving in to others. Well, at least not until I realized how much all his friends and our relatives respected him to this day. He had few enemies (most probably none, as far as I can recall), and even the few foes became friends in later years. During his two terms in politics, his rival from an opposing party was actually his friend. They contested each other without playing to the usual practice of dirty tactics, and character assassination.
From here, I begin to contemplate the true quality of leadership that befits a Christian. So, the following rendition is my belief of Christian leadership.
A leader lifts others up
To reach the summit, a leader lifts others up rather than dragging them along. He/she would lead from behind/below by providing a strong support base rather than placing himself/herself at the forefront. This leader would choose to have less so that those who depend on him/her will have enough. If a reduced earning means that others can sufficiently profit, a true leader would choose to gain less. Likewise, he/she should have the big-heartedness to give in and lose the game so that others can win the race and be encouraged. The real happiness here is in seeing joy in someone else other than ourselves. Those who lead must know when to step back to allow others opportunities at the front. A leader should not prioritize self-prominence at the expense of those who follow him/her. In other words, a leader would choose to blow out his/her candle (if necessary) so that others can burn brighter. Leadership may have to be earned, but it certainly does not come from a vain, raucous and flashy exterior.
Does this form of leadership make sense? In the secular context, it does not. I, myself have yet to live up to these aspirations, and have not emulated what my father did. Being taken in by secular standards of living, I assumed that the leadership role includes being a winner, a hero, and someone who is always on top of the world. In other words, to me, leading meant being at the front, not from behind. When serving in church ministry, I took the same stance. I believe I am not alone in this viewpoint. Many church leaders may think like me. They would not choose to stay in the background providing the advice and support. They would prefer to be at the front, and be the star of the show. Their plans always place themselves as the centre of attention rather than others in that place.
Sacrificing for others
In leading prayer meetings, they would monopolise the microphone rather than allowing others to share their tales. In leading singspiration, they reckoned their stage presence and their voices are the best way to lead praise. Their performance, and how they appear to the congregation matters more. Serving then becomes self-glorification. In many other ministries, serving also means managing others more than supporting them. Yet, this is what church some leaders truly believe in their heart are characters required of them. Despite putting on a modest front, in reality, many church leaders assume an elevated position in church, and expect others to regard them as having higher status. Sacrificing for others is not a lifestyle that they would easily choose. Instead, they believe that a public expression of authority is needed to ensure that others will have a sense of confidence in them. To them, only individuals with commanding and winning attributes will be effective leaders. After all, a lion-hearted knight wins the battle, not the docile soldier. Is this accurate? Physical prowess, social gregariousness, and extroverted attributes can be a disguise for egoism rather than leadership. The true colour of a leader can easily be discerned when they are tested on the act of sacrificing for others. Many church leaders regard their leadership positions as status symbols rather than a responsibility to make the needed sacrifice for others.
I remember not too long ago when I was having a meal with my son. There were three curry puffs on the plate, and we took one each. My son suggested that we cut the last one in two, so that each of us could have one half. Though I was still hungry, I saw how much my son wanted to have it. So, I lied and told him that I was full and could not eat anymore. I pushed him to have the last curry puff. Without hesitation he finished it within half a minute. As he swallowed the last bite, I could feel the groan in my stomach. Nonetheless, as much as I craved the food, I felt joy in my heart seeing my son enjoying this last curry puff. Maybe this is the manifestation of a father’s love for his son. My sacrifice brought me joy, not sorrow. Does this remind you of God’s love for us through Christ?
Christ led by dying
The crucifix bears that painful and serious reminder that Christ led by dying and sacrificing Himself on the cross. In the final solution, God did not destroy sin by another flood or fire. He did not send a powerful warrior to engage Satan and his demons in an open battlefield. Instead, God did the unthinkable. God sent His Son to die for our sins in order to defeat evil. Christian leadership should be about sacrificing for others. When Jesus was teaching, He did not aim to be popular. His ministry made Him increasingly unpopular with those in authority. Yet, this is what He had to do to save us, and to show us what leading with love is like. How many Christians and church leaders lead this way today? If Christianity in the world and in our regions seems to be on a decline, perhaps, it is because Christian leaders have forgotten to lead by dying or sacrificing for others.