EDUCATION: Safeguard Our Children on Sex Principles on Home Sex Education

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1. Teach naturally from young
Parents have the advantage of being with their children, so they are the best candidates for the job. Parents can teach their children when they ask about their bodies. They can also do so on occasions like when mom is pregnant, when they are taking baths, when the younger siblings are having diaper changes, when they see animals mating or giving birth.

2. Teach according to the understanding of the child
While answering questions from the child, use simple words that they can understand. You don’t need long explanations. For older and more matured children, answer according to their needs in this aspect. Before answering, you can ask them, “Why do you ask this question? What do you know about this?” For example, a five year-old child would ask, “Am I not born by mommy? Why do you say that dad and mom have given birth to me?” In this case the child is not asking about sexual intercourse but interested in his being. So parents can tell the child that mom alone cannot have a baby. Mom needs dad to give her his sperm to produce a baby. If the child asked further wanting to know how the sperm can get into mom’s body, you could say that sometimes you might see dad and mom hugging together naked, making love and that is when the sperms get into mom’s body.

3. Teach Accurately
Do not use inappropriate or funny terms to call the sexual organs. Many call the penis the little chick, the birdie, banana and so on; these would confuse the child. The child would wonder why it is so as they look so different! Use the scientific terms to call each part of the sexual organ and give simple explanation for it. There was once a case where two boys were asked by an adult to have oral sex. They went home and told their parents that an uncle invited them to eat ‘bird bird.’ At first, the parents were not concerned; it was only later that they realized how serious the situation was. They then reported the case to the authority even though that person is a relative of theirs. If the child could use the accurate terms, then parents would immediately understand the situation.

4. Our attitude is important
We have to encourage our children to ask questions and patiently help them find the answers. Hence, when they grow up and have a crush on the opposite sex, they would talk to their parents about it. Don’t feel awkward or surprised that you may not know the answers and you shun the question away by giving perfunctory or vague answers. Don’t say, “Why do you ask? When you grow up, you will know!” If you really do not have the answers, tell them that it is an interesting question and you will think about it and answer later. After learning the answer you have to get back to them about it.

While imparting sex education, it is important to talk on the positive sides. Tell the children that sex is a wonderful creation of God. It is a gift to husband and wife for a happy marriage. We are to gratefully enjoy this gift in marriage only. Do not touch only on bad consequences like sexual diseases, abortions and sex abuse as a threat to scare them off.

5. Repeated teaching
Children love repetition in learning. They enjoy going over and over a book they love or playing a game they like again and again. Repeated learning process is building up a habit and is also an effective method in studying. For instance saying grace before meals, doing devotions, memorization and reflection on the Lord’s Prayer and the Apostles’ Creed are all repetitions. We do that for maths as well. We need to impart the biblical concept on sex repeatedly over time to have a permanent impact.

Parents are duty-bound
If we are still waiting for the government and schools to incorporate sex education into the education system, we will only let our children be exposed to incorrect or non-biblical concepts on sex. The consequences are unforeseen. Parents are urged to impart to their children biblical sex knowledge while they are young to have more effective results. Parents should use their influence to teach them correctly and creatively in due season. Sex education is in fact character building and we, as parents and teachers, are responsible.
Remember, when we are sharing with our children on the topic of sex, we need to ask them frequently what the Bible says about it and what God’s desire is. If they can give the right answers, that means the seed of the truth is rooted in them and they will adhere to it and grow.

Written by Dr Lau Sie Teck
Translated by Christina