I was born in China to an average family. When I was little l used to accompany my mom to the temple especially during festivals and Chinese New Year. For a long time I did not find a particular faith that l could devote to.
After migrating to South Africa, I met many white and African people who are Christians, who go to church on Sundays. Their weddings and funerals are usually conducted in a grand way in the church where they praise and thank God for giving them all these blessings. Even when their loved ones pass away, they still thank God for receiving the souls of their loved ones to their heavenly home, which bring comfort and peace and a hope for reunion in heaven.
Slowly I learnt about the almighty God of truth. Though I did not completely understand the Christian God then, through living with my ex white man husband, I learned something about the faith all these 13 years. Whenever we met with some difficulties in life, he would hold my daughter and my hands and we prayed. (I didn’t know why we prayed nor had l seen a Bible and I only thought of Christianity as a religion.)
Totally lost
When one day my husband left me and chose to be with someone of his faith and background, a white woman, I was totally lost, and decided to take a break by travelling outside South Africa.
I went to Egypt where I ventured into an old church one day. The tour guide said this was the place where Mary and baby Jesus went into hiding from the Roman soldiers’ persecution. I felt a touching from the Holy Spirit and I knelt down and prayed. I asked God to help me and prayed that Jesus Christ would lead me in my future path.
I wept as I was praying as if I was speaking to my father, pouring out all my grievances. I was a wandering orphan who has found a home!
Loved with no reservations
I felt God was listening to my cries and felt comforted. My heart was warmed. I knew at that moment that God had chosen me. He loved me with no reservations and had compassion for me, a foreigner. Like a loving father, He had led and held me on the way through all kinds of difficulties. He would not let me fall again or be lonely anymore. I was struggling to raise my daughter and it was a very hectic life for me and my business. But I wanted to find God. There was an incident at home. A black African tied me up and pointed a gun at my head. I heard a voice telling me, “l am with you, fear not. They will not hurt you. When the black man hit my head, he slipped and fell hurting himself. They got the money but I was fine. I prayed immediately but loud enough to be heard by the robbers. They just took the money and left right after.
At the instant l realized that my heavenly Father loved me and cared for me without fail.
I prayed, “I am not even worthy. Whenever I pray to you for help, when l am in danger, when l am weak, you are always there to protect and to strengthen me. When l make mistakes, when I am selfish and disobedient, you are still reaching out to me with open arms, to guide and lead me on to your righteous path of peace and joy. The door of your everlasting love is always wide opened for my return.”
I thank God for giving me a chance to find a home with Him, to find hope in Him and to journey on this path of faith. I also thank God for preparing brothers and sisters in Christ of the Methodist Church here to keep me company along this path. Through them l have an opportunity to make a trip to the Holy land, Israel, where Jesus Christ was born as man, to visit the sites where Jesus Christ had walked as man to deepen my faith and understanding of the Bible, the words of God. It also deepened my understanding of the sacrifice and salvation of Jesus Christ on the cross to forgive our sins.
Last year l joined a Bible study class to learn more about the words of God. I realized how insignificant l am and how selfish l have been. We have sinned against God in so many things, big and small. As I came to know Jesus more and more, l felt the need to repent from my past old self, a life of disobedience. I also needed to ask for forgiveness from those whom I have hurt. Those who have badly hurt me, I forgive them in the name of Jesus.
Today I am officially a member of God’s family; I surrender my life and authority to Him. I receive Jesus Christ into my heart to be my Saviour and Lord, to take charge of my everything. I am willing to be obedient in all areas of my life and build my foundation in Christ Jesus, to grow in fairgrounds following His way and commandments. I want to give my heart to Him, to live in His love, to be a daughter living a pleasing life after God’s own heart.
Thank God for choosing me among the thousands. Thank God for providing me my every need. Thank God for His peace in me. To him be all the glory!
Oh Lord, shield me and cleanse me with your precious blood all the days till heaven’s home. Hallelujah, praise the Lord. In Jesus Christ precious name I pray. Amen!
By Zhang Dong Xue, South Africa
Translated by Christina