A. Introduction
The household code is really a strong vision of Paul that meant to impact his readers, the church and even society at large. What amazes me is how Paul teaches me and the readers to revere Christ in marriage. It is amazing because Paul is so down to earth and practical that he even wants to teach people how husband and wife can revere Christ in their relationship with one another. Paul would not have been bothered about it, if he had not been faithful to God’s revelation through him. It is exactly Christ’s will that husband and wife must revere him in their marriage relationship. This will was revealed to Paul. Otherwise, it is hard for me to imagine how Paul can be so deep and penetrating in his thinking that husband and wife must revere Christ in their marriage relationship.

Paul has taught the household code in such a convincing manner that a reader like me will be more than willing to defend him. There are people who misunderstand him or even who misuse the passage. All these can be corrected as I put the passage in its rhetorical context.

B. The Misunderstanding
A lot of Christians in Chinese context misunderstand the passage in the sense that they believe this is the passage that teaches women to be subjected to husbands only. Consequently, women will have little say in decision making that affect family life. This further strengthens the traditional Chinese male chauvinistic role of a husband. This actually can cause a lot of prejudice against women. Take for instance, a chauvinistic father may deny his daughter an opportunity to further her studies. Although this kind of prejudice is not so common nowadays with the westernization and modernization of our society, a wrong understanding of the passage may affect women’s opportunity to fully tap into their potential as God has designed. Take for instance, 1Peter 4:10 which says, “As each has received a gift, employ it for one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.” (RSV)

God gives every Christian at least one gift. A woman may as a result of her husband’s wrong understanding of subjection, not be given opportunity to discover her gift to serve the body of Christ (the church). She may just be satisfied with attending a church service and do no more than that.

I believe that a husband who understands the passage correctly, he would be able to help his wife to discover her potential to serve God.

Let me now examine the context of the passage before I expound the household code.

Failure to do it will cause me to do an injustice to the text and it will eventually result in my ineffectiveness to impact my faith community (the Chinese-speaking people in particular).

C. The Context
It is frustrating to say that my reading on different theories of life setting for the household code does not convince me to settle with one of them or a combination of them. In the end, I let the whole book of Ephesians to determine its context.

Judging from the first four chapters, I see the following points which help me to see that Paul could be advocating his vision of life – the ultimate unity of cosmos in Christ. The present unity of the church will eventually lead to that ultimate unity. An essential aspect of unity in the church is harmony in the Christian household. This harmony has to begin from the fundamental unit of the church, which is the unity of husband and wife.

In chapter 1, I see that Christ is the one who binds all the children of God through His spiritual blessings. That binding is strongly expressed for example through verses 9 and 10, “For he has made known to us in all wisdom and insight the mystery of his will, according to his purpose which he set forth in Christ as plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.” It is the desire of Christ to unite everything on earth and heaven under him.

In chapter 2, I see that he emphasized how the Gentiles were transformed by Christ and reconciled to God and then they were all members of God’s household and became a holy temple in the Lord. (vv19-21)

In chapter 3, I see that Paul saw himself as a minister of the gospel who brought together the Gentiles who were heirs together with Israel and they were members of the same body. (vv 6-7)

In chapter 4, I see that he emphasized unity in the body of Christ. Verses 4-5 show it clearly.

In chapter 5, I see that Paul’s thought was detail and so creative that he uses the mystical union of Christ and the church as a imagery to help his readers to realize how husbands and wives can be united. This unity will contribute to the ultimate unity of cosmos in Christ.

Even in chapter 6, Paul was still using Christ as the unifying factor to hold children and parents, slaves and masters together in unity. For example, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord (Christ)” (v1); “Slaves, be obedient to those who are your earthly masters, with fear and trembling in singleness of heart, as to Christ” (v5). Even in spiritual warfare, Christ is the person who will fight the devils for believers. As all believers are fighting under the power and authority of the person of Christ, He unites us as a collective entity to fight effectively against the might of the devils.

Since Christ is the ultimate unifying factor for Paul’s vision, it is no wonder that he ended his writing with strong benediction that impacts in the last verse (24), “Grace be with all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love undying.” When all readers love Christ with undying love, then we are all united in Christ. Therefore, he is achieving his vision.

D. The Explanation
The above content would now enable me to do an exegesis of the passage. Hopefully, such effort will not only serve as a correction to the misunderstanding described, it will also serve to do some very practical applications for Christian marriages.

Now the above misunderstanding/misuse of the passage can be due to overlooking verse 21 which says, “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.” This is the verse which governs the whole passage.

This mutual subjection is motivated by reverence for Christ. This attitude towards Christ must also affect a wife’s subjection to her husband. But why is it that Paul never says, “Husband, be subjected to your wife.” There is no doubt that the general exhortation has to do with mutual subjection. But when it comes to the marriage relationship which is designed by God for specific purposes, a distinction between the husband’s and the wife’s roles has to be made. Otherwise, there can be confusion of roles. At the end of the day, there is no unity between a husband and a wife. This directly affects the unity in the church.

At this stage, it must be made clear that a wife’s subjection to her husband must be a willing obedience, not an imposed obedience. This subjection is called for not just because it is the role society has allotted her but because this is the way she can serve her Lord; this is the way she reveres the Lord (Christ). Verse 22 says, “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord.”

Paul uses the strongest imagery to justify the wife’s role of subjection to the husband. Verse 23 says, “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.” This is the most powerful message to convince the wife to be subjected to the husband. Christ’s headship involves a role of authority. The word “as” has the comparative force and serve to introduce the analogy. The analogy to show how the wife is subjected to the husband just as the church is subjected to Christ (v24).

The church is to be subjected to Christ to do the will of Christ. The husband who is very much a part of the church has to be subjected to Christ. He has to do the will of Christ also. So, when the wife is subjected to him, whatever he desires the wife to do must be doing Christ’s will also. Under such conviction, any sensible husband who tries to be chauvinistic will find that his attitude and behavior is not acceptable to Christ. Then, take for instance, prejudice against his daughter not to send her for further studies has to give way. This is because Christ’s will expect him to be fair to all his children.

Knowing that the husband himself has to submit to Christ’s will, he now will need to allow his wife to discover her gift to serve God. Therefore, the household code to command the wife to be subjected to the husband is really to be subjected to do Christ’s will. Consequently, the wife has everything to gain and nothing to lose.

On the other hand, Paul issues something equally challenging if not more challenging to the husband. He says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” (v25). With this command, there is definitely no place for a chauvinistic husband. The husband has to give sacrificial love to his wife just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. It is a love without the expectation of reward. Not even in exchange for subjection of the wife to him!

Paul put in a lot more effort to explain the command to love the wife in terms of how he should love his wife and justify it. I believe that such effort goes to show that he really tries to convince the husbands to revere Christ in marriage. In doing so, he hopes to work towards his vision of ultimate unity of cosmos in Christ.

To convince the husband to love his wife as Christ loves the church, Paul highlights how Christ loves the church in a tangible way (i.e. through purifying power of the word, v26) and the church becomes without spot (v27) and holy (v28). From there, he reinforces that love for the wife by an imagery – love your wife as your own body. So, a husband should have a very clear picture of how to love his wife. Paul strengthens the force of verse 28a by putting it in an even more personal way – He who loves his wife loves himself (v28b). On the surface, this may seem to play around with words.

To further strengthen his point of husband’s love to his wife, he further convinces husbands to love their wives as no man hates his own flesh (v29). This is another very powerful imagery. Christ does not hate his church also. In fact, Christ loves us all who are members of body.

Verse 31 seems to be disconnected from the household code above. A closer examination leads me to realize that this quotation of Genesis 2:24 actually makes the two commands complimentary to each other. The union of a husband and a wife needs one another. The two commands bring about the unity in marriage.

Genesis 2:24 used to be a mystery, and now it is being revealed through loving and close relationship between Christ and the church. It entails the sacred union of husband and wife in Christ.

After all the effort to clarify the household code, in order not to lose focus on it, Paul repeats it. (v33 )

I can see in conclusion that Paul really makes full use of the household code to teach the couple to revere Christ. Otherwise, there is really no point to bring in imagery after imagery that is related to Christ. I believe that the household code can produce the impact that Paul desires – Revere Christ In Marriage

E. Other Applications
(1) When a couple is threatened by divorce, the household code is a powerful way to help them to reconcile. Very often what goes wrong in marriage has to do with lack of subjection and love.
(2) The household code is also a powerful fundamental word of God that builds up marriage and it is definitely something that must be taught in pre-marital counseling.
(3) The household code will serve as more than a model for Christian couples, it has the power to cause unbelievers to admire Christians and influence them to be willing to buy it. It is simply because it is God designed and Christ–centered and it is hard to challenge its validity – so practical, so deep in meeting the couple’s need and so convincing that it definitely benefits each other.

F. Conclusion
Revere Christ in marriage by submitting to one another. Do this in your Christian marriage and you have nothing to lose. However, you have everything to gain as you obey God’s word.

Rev Law Hui Seng
En Tao Methodist Church, Sibu