I was really down during the second half of last year. The breadwinner of our family was very sick. He was diagnosed with bone marrow defect (MDS) and since then has been getting regular blood transfusion. The regularity soon became more intense. There was no hope of a cure.

At the end of last year, he was down with pneumonia and lung infection. He was hospitalized for eight days, was feverish, immobile and very sick. After that he had four pints of blood transfused. Within a month the blood level dropped to 4 plus. Last week six bags of blood were added. Fear crept in and my heart cringed with each passing day as the doctor refused to discharge him. With each extra bag of blood, I felt the burden of losing hope.

I could not do anything but make prayer requests to friends and relatives. I didn’t know how to pray. One morning, I went out for breakfast to release my stress and I met my ex-pastor.

He invited me to share in his church on 1st December. Without much thought I accepted the offer. When I left the shop I was wondering what kind of message would be suitable with me already so dispirited. So I asked God, what to say!

“Hanging on to Hope”, came to mind and that was it! Yes, what a lift of heart. So Isaiah 41:10 came as an inspiration.

“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

A song came and I was humming and humming from then on.

The Bible said once the word of God is released, power is released as well. Amazingly, it calmed me down.

Here is the song I wrote to encourage myself. I am neither a singer nor a composer but hymns of praise often come handy to the soul. That is what Psalm 43:5 declares,

“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God.”|

Speaking to our soul is indeed useful. Tell yourself what the Lord declares and the promise is claimed with faith. Try it as God is in you, giving you a sanctuary to renew. Encouraging myself I wrote,

Fear not! I am with you,
Dismayed not, I am your God.
I will strengthen you with faith and love,
I will help you to be stronger.
Uphold you through dangerous paths,
Lead you with righteousness.
Just believe I will deliver you,
From the storms of life.

CH:
Look up! My child, the sun is always there, Trudge on.

Christ of Tawau, Sabah