ON a hot day, a bowl of ice blended ABC (Air Batu Campur or Ais Kacang) would be a great treat. With red beans, sweet corn, jellies and a variety of fruits, topped with creamy milk or palm sugar is such a memorable and refreshing dessert. The relationship between a couple is just like this Ice Blended ABC.
Accept
The relationship between a couple is an important issue in marriage. Some stumble along the way; others though not exciting or passionate, still create many memories. Charlie Shedd once said: “Marriage is not about finding a suitable person to marry but being the suitable person.” In reality, couples who have dulled off their fervent passion toward each other are very often those who are self-centred. They want to change the other half instead of making adjustments of oneself, causing “sickness” in the relationship.
Often, we envy other couples of their perfectness. This is at best a personal opinion neglecting the fact that no one is perfect in this world. If we realise this and accept each other’s weaknesses, then we are making a perfect marriage.
Therefore, do not envy others, instead we learn to manage our marriage by accepting each other’s imperfections. In a marriage, to become one is not easy. What is important is that the husband learns to love his wife and the wife shows him respect. In this accepting and forgiving atmosphere, each complements the other and integrates into the other’s life and together they make the marriage more wholesome.
Befriend
On the dot of marriage, lovers always dream of a great time ahead which is long lasting. Unlike courtship which is full of affection and romance, marriage in reality tends to be more realistic and plain like water. The ever tolerant spirit and loving acceptance may be turned into endless blaming and hating. The vow of “loving you a thousand years” may become endless hate.
Marriage is not a piece of contract paper. It is a long term relationship. In marriage many like to look at each other or at matters through the eyes of a husband or a wife, and may become egoistic instead. If we look at each other as a friend, things may be different. We see things and each other from different perspectives. Inasmuch, we get closer.
If couples can treat each other as friends they will be more open to embrace the strength and weakness of their respective spouses. A good friend will tell you of your mistake when he or she sees one and helps to correct it together with you. When you face difficulties, a friend will help you to get out of it without asking for reward. Even when there is disagreement or squabbles, one will not keep them at heart for long. Friends will not keep grievances but will remember your goodness. Thus, marriage should not be a power struggle between two genders, but buddies who respect and love each other in harmony.
Cooperate
God made man and woman, like day and night, for a designated purpose. The Bible says, “The husband is the head of his wife and the wife should be submissive to him. (Ephesians 5:22-23) As the head of his wife, a husband is not more superior to his wife or he can act as his wish in authority. As a head, he is concerned of his body parts and understands their feelings; he will not hurt them. Similarly, subordinates of the head should heed the directives of the head and not act on their own. Therefore, husband and wife should cooperate in their relationship. This is of prime importance.
Husband and wife should thus work hand in hand to accomplish something or to learn lessons in life together. This is because they are inheriting the grace of life together (1 Peter 3:7) God purposed in such manner that a loving couple would be blessed greatly. Thus, the leadership of a husband and the submissiveness of a wife are done with love leading to a wonderful marriage.
Through unreserved love, respect and harmony, a great relationship in a marriage is built. Together they can face all seasons of life. Their love is brewed like wine, the longer the better. Such love grows like fire burning in intensity with time, growing in depth and strength of kinship, as an upgraded love which is shown in every aspect of life. We can thus sample its warmth and fullness in our daily living, knowing how fortunate we are to have each other.
Do Not Envy Other People’s ABC
As said earlier, a couple’s relationship is like a bowl of ice blended ABC, we need to use suitable ingredients to make a great dish. To add to or subtract the amount of red beans, sweet corn, jellies or others depend very much on what the couple likes. Creamy milk or palm sugar depends more on one’s choice. Therefore, do not envy other people’s ice blended ABC. Their preference may not suit you! Only you, as a couple can make yours the best bowl, which suits the both of you. Such a tacit agreement and sweet love cannot be replaced. How the two of you rely on each other for life is beyond ordinary love!