MY friends often call up and ask, “Are you free this morning?” or “Would you be free next Thursday?”
To be free is a luxury for many because no one is really free. We can find things to do all the time. Even if we are not in the work force and being housewives we can be just as busy if not more.
Shall I say I am not free or shall I just make myself available for morning tea? Now I often choose to make time to go and visit my friend who has called for a chat. This is because I want to relate with people who are positive, share their joy and at times sorrow. This type of gathering can also be reflective. Not all the gatherings are enjoyable. Learning to mix with people is a way of life.
Do you ‘gossip’ when you are with friends? Yes, gossip! Gossip can be defined as spreading rumor, scandal, hearsay, chit-chat, talk and so on. When we talk, information can come in the form of rumors. So do I ‘gossip’? Proverbs 17:4 notes: “Wrongdoers eagerly listen to gossip; liars pay close attention to slander.”
Firstly, learn not to judge what we hear. We have to listen openly and make reservation on what is being heard. Screen through and see if there is any truth in it. Even if it is gossip, don’t go around criticizing or humiliate the person we have discussed on or talked about. We should not hurt or harm the person with more gossips. Gossip is very delicious and hard to resist but we talk for the sake of understanding the case and stop there. Avoiding total ‘gossip’ can also make us being cold to people because we stay away from true concern as well.
Secondly, gossip with pure intention. We can share many things while we are together. Friends talk on personal matters. Our feelings of pleasure and disgust; our grievances over people and matters; our daily concerns and worries. Unless we have that openness and trust in ourselves and others, we cannot be a listener and a discerner at the same time. We need the grace of God to listen and talk. When we really need a mentor, pray for one.
Thirdly, mix with the right group and learn to be wise from the mistakes we made. Choose wisely and be selective as well. We cannot handle a lot of things. Don’t act as a counselor. Therefore, be a friend with a caring heart but be wise not to be involved with unnecessary scandals.
Fourthly, keeping secrets entrusted to you is hard but if you can’t, say so and don’t promise to keep any because no secret is a secret when being told. I always say, “Don’t tell me if it is a secret, keep it to yourself!”
Proverbs 13:3 says, “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.” Why do we gather? If it is just to talk about others, don’t go. You will soon get into trouble.
Gatherings should be meaningful to our well-being, relationship and also our faith. Jesus asked us not to gossip because we will be accountable for our words. Enjoy your time with friends!
Chris of Tawau, KK