This pandemic is one of the most difficult times in our lives: news of sickness and death; news of Coronal virus attacks and more deaths; unknown causes of illnesses and again more people die for unknown reasons. It is a sad time all over the world!
Many sad things happened to me recently. As I have more and more negative thoughts I get more I depressed. One day, as I was driving my daughter to work, I was sighing loudly as if to rid of the intensity inside me.
“Mom, you once said one needs to find something to be grateful for so that we can move on, so start looking and seeking one thing you can be thankful. It will help you to get back on your feet again!”
Something to be happy about?
I tried looking back. I groped in the dark memory lane but more and more unpleasant incidents flashed by. From disappointment to betrayal; from being bullied to being accused and the list went on. I was angry and the more I travelled down memory lane, the more I suffered.
Can I find something in those bad memories to be grateful for? Yes, I was searching my inner heart to find something worthy to be happy with. It is said, “Happiness is a state of mind, found inside. We can’t find it anywhere outside.”
It is also said that, “Happiness needs practice; positive expectation will bring enlightenment into thought, action and kindness into your heart, mind and soul, beginning with a fresh start every day.” That was what I really needed.
So I had a talk with God, telling Him my gloominess. I told him that my growing up years still tied me down even though I had tried to let go. Often times, they still crept back into my memory when I encountered incidents of the same kind. Many recent happenings brought back many hurtful memories. They chewed out my inner joy and peace, infuriating my ego and of course, clouded my mind with darkness. Bad thoughts brought bad actions and they made me very sentimental and sensitive.
Talking to God is a good way to let go of the past, giving meaning to our mistakes. We will learn from our weaknesses as well as to forgive others who have trespassed against us.
Forgiving others is not easy. Without seeing our own weaknesses and vulnerability, we can’t forgive easily. Once we experience the grace of God and His forgiveness, we are then able to be kind to others and forgive their woes.