Time flies. My youngest daughter has gone off to University, leaving behind an empty nest. I have read before-hand, how mothers usually felt after their youngest left home. It is indeed true, the mix of emotions going through each stage, before and after.
I have left her room untouched, messy with her belongings strewn about for the past weeks. She took what she wanted, she had rummaged through her things but did not have the heart to throw away her “life” and her history. All the boxes were full of her momentos big and small, with lots of stories. Looking into her room over the past weeks, my eyes were teary and I just couldn’t touch anything. I missed her voice, her tears of growing up and her dreams, laughter and snoring! Of course, lots of hugs and kisses!
But I have to do some tidying up. I want it to be a guest room so that I can welcome some friend over some day. This morning, I intended to make a start of clearing up. After going through her things lying on the floor, I found that piece by piece, bit by bit, they were all the things we did together. Her SPM art project left overs, her colouring stuff and lots and lots of souvenirs.
what should I throw out?
I took a photo of her stuff and said I was going through her things. She wrote back saying not to throw away her books, put them in boxes and wait until she is back during semester break. My girl has always loved her books and kept them well. She also keeps all little gifts and post cards and souvenir key chains. Oh dear, her half used exercise book, drawing papers, crayons, colour pencils, water colours, poster colours…her exam notes and papers… what should I throw out? In the end I managed to throw out question papers and note books.
Many of us are hoarders as well. We hoard things and stuff them in the room or store room, thinking, I could use them some day. My dad is a keen hoarder who keeps things, maybe from sixty or seventy years ago. My father-in law too. I was thinking, what was the reason we still wanted to keep many things from the past! Shouldn’t we just throw them away? Perhaps, we all have some in-born talent like MacGyver, who could use anything handy to solve a task. Or it is our emotional attachment to things. We have many memories of those things. Or perhaps, is it just our nature to keep things and felt more secure?
In our spirituality, often we would not let go of our past. We still hold onto grudges, pains and anger; on the other hand we keep sweet memories as well. Spring cleaning of our past is also needed to clear up the unwanted stuff in our heart. Our memory needs to be cleansed as well. Those unpleasant things which deter our spiritual growth need to be dealt with. The hurts we had, perhaps, long ago, need to be removed through prayers of forgiveness. To forgive and be forgiven is the only remedy for hurts of the past. In Jesus‘ name we must truly make an effort to forgive our offenders and also receive healing from God. Similarly, we need to ask God to forgive us if we have hurt others too.
healing process
It is not easy because these hurts usually have been embedded in our memory for a long time. To unearth them, we need great courage for we have to go through that pain again. We have to trace back and face them one by one to let go. With prayers, we will succeed stage by stage until we are completely healed and let bygones be bygones.
Apostle Paul also taught us how to live our lives. He said, “No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on.” (Philippians 3:13)
I have tried to obey God’s word by putting my past hurts behind. First, when I realized that God wanted me to let go, to free myself from bondage of my past and to be forgiven by Him, I responded with faith and asked God to help me to forgive those who had hurt me; it was not easy. This is especially so for hurts caused by those who are close to me or my loved ones. But God has a way and He always opens the door for me. When I asked the Holy Spirit to lead me to the source of my hurts, the power of the Holy Spirit started a healing process. Bitterness was chased away, bleeding wounds were sewn up and hatred went vanished. Grievances dissolved away through prayers. It is a miracle each time, like peeling an onion, layer by layer.
Do not burden our soul with too many unwanted and unneeded things. Usable material things but not in use, give them away to people who need them or send them to be recycled. Emotional stuff, check through and let go. Give thanks for the blessings of success, good deeds and work; keep the sweet memories, let go of the pride and ego.
For bad things, ask God to heal your memory, let go through forgiveness and cleansing by Jesus’ blood; to renew your heart, memory and soul. Then completely let go. You can erase them completely and start afresh.
new insight
Look back with a grateful heart now that you know God loves you and each incident will give you new insight into life and makes you wiser. A lesson learnt can be painful but useful. Do not let it go by without gaining knowledge and experience to avoid it again. God is merciful and full of grace to replenish our lives with new things.
Clearing through my daughter’s things made me stop and think a lot. Yes, I have to clear up my attachment to her and let her fly high in her sphere by God’s grace! A mother’s heart string is so hard to be detached… the umbilical cord! May God help me to grow with my children and grow old gracefully with time! I must clear up my mixed emotions and start to live a renewed golden age as well!
By Chris of Tawau, Sabah